I see that so many of the old regulars have disconnected their blogs. Jeeze, I remember a few years ago where this was a "happening" place. Oh well, whats new is old, and whats old is new. I hope to be some of both. I miss Mr. Ornery and his obtuse humor. Take care, all.
Once upon a time, I was a regular irregular here. Humor, support, advice, and thoughtful commentary was the norm. It's been so long that I'm not sure that it is still here. "Blog" has taken on a different meaning it seems, condemnation instead of conversation; diatribe instead of discussion. Perhaps I have seen only the negative, but maybe I have simply experienced it.
I screwed up this time. I had too much to drink Wednesday night, got stopped for a DUI, and spent the night in jail. I don't give a damn about the money, but I'm scared of my desire(craving) to run away and yes, drink.
I went to my 1st AA meeing in 12 years, 11 of those having not drank. It didn't seem like a consious decision to go drinking, because I had a mental list of things that I needed to pick up for our new cat, I wanted to get a small stand for the cat to lay on in front of the bedroom window, some new shirts for me since they were 75% off----and I did only 2 of them. I turned left(literally) coming out of the animal hospital instead of right which took me towrd downdown. Even when I got there I kept looking at my watch at telling myself that I should go. But No.
I am going to talk to a lawyer, but there isn't much that I can do. 90 day suspension, $200-$300 fine, and alcohol course in order to get my license.
I expect to get beat up about this, but so far I'm doing a pretty damned good job of it myself. I spoke with my doctor about some new medications that are available now to help with the "mental" cravings. My anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds don't seem to help this longing to RUN AWAY. I've talked to my Mom about this, and she doesn't want me to go anywhere by myself. I told her that right now I just don't trust myself, so I don't blame her for her lack of trust.
If anyone can relate to any of this, PLEASE let me know. PM's are OK. I just need to meke it until tomorrow's meeting at noon. At least I felt safe there. Ed.
